What is that weird language that kid’s speaking? That language is not cool? These were thethoughts in my head of what others would say if I spoke Bengali in school and various other areas. When kids are young, they tend to want to belong to something, a group they fit in with and that’s what happening with me. This was till a particular incident with my grandma made me realize something, a 4’10” Bangladeshi bundle of joy with the cutest smile managed to change young eshams whole outlook on language at a young age.

The only reason I know Bengali so well is because that’s what my grandma only speaks. Even though I didn’t really like the Bengali language it was kinda forced on me because a lot of times it would be just me and my grandma at the house when id get back from school and I’d have to converse with her. My father like my grandma was born in Bangladesh but he came here as a teenager, so he spoke English pretty well. The majority of the times I didn’t understand my grandma, my father would be like google translate and, translate the Bengali in too English and thiswas one way specifically id learn to speak Bangla. You would be surprised how many kids neglect to learn Bengali so the kids that do know it are kinda praised.

This one night my parents had to go out and that would mean I would be left alone with mygrandmother and would be with my grandma the whole night. A whole night of Bengali filled conversation. This night would bring about a rather special moment in my life. I was 14 years old at the time so big enough to take care of my grandmother but my Bengali was sufficient at the time. For the majority of the time, I got to play video games while my grandma watched and asked some questions like, “tumi manoosh ke guli kortoso, ita balo na” which basically means are you shooting people with guns this is not good. As i continued gaming what I feared doing the most had come true, “esham ami shuite jai te chi” said my grandma. This means I would have to put hervillage, so he knew all types of slang words my grandma pulls. As I was explaining the situation that had just taken place, he looked at my grandma and my grandma looked at him and they just to bed. Although my grandma is sweet and caring, she can be a pain sometimes because everythingshe does has to be on time and the same way every day.

I finally got up and we did her routine things before she goes to bed. My grandma was really light, and I was a strong kid so I kind of lifted her into the bed. After this, I thought I was set but she called me back. She asked me “esham baloosh ness hoise”. A word I never heard suddenly appeared “ness”. She was asking me if the pillow is “ness.” I was like “what bro?” in bengali and my grandma was just staring at me. She kept repeating the same thing over and over and I just keptasking her if this is what she meant with movement gestures. You could say that we were playing charades almost. Out of frustration we looked at each other and started laugh-crying. I don’t know why I didn’t get it sooner, but she was pointing to the pillow and waving her hands down and I realized she was saying, “I think the pillow is too down.” a few moments later I moved the pillow up ever so slightly. The smile on her face lit up the room and we both were so relieved, props to my grandma for having patience with me. She said “tumi akon bujso”, meaning you finally understood

Not 5 minutes later my dad finally showed up back from work, this would have been
helpful 15 minutes ago when I and my grandma were playing “charades”. My dad was born in the
village, so he knew all types of slang words my grandma pulls. As I was explaining the situation
that had just taken place, he looked at my grandma and my grandma looked at him and they just
started laughing. My dad told me I did a good job and said now he wouldn’t be worrying about
leaving me home alone more with my grandma. I laugh nervously and said “okay”. The whole
situation made me bond with my grandmother and motivated me to learn the language more.

Many kids from immigrant parents in America just want to “fit in”. So having something
that makes them different can be scary sometimes. A lot of people push their native languages
away so that their English can be “perfect”. As we grow up, we realize being different is a cool
thing. Culture and language aren’t something we should be afraid of preserving. That experience
with my grandma made me realize you shouldn’t hold back from being who you are. You should
embrace it. I no longer fear people’s opinions when I speak Bengali in public, alot of people
actually think it’s cool. There is no perfect way of speaking english everyone has their unique way.